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Aviation Fuel

(from "Suns and Lovers, Season 3, episode 2)

  • 1 oz. Grey Goose L'Orange vodka
  • 1 oz. tropical blue pucker
Aviation Fuel

Shake well over ice
Strain into a martini glass
Top with a puff of blue cotton candy.

Submitted by DS9ers


Beer Bread

Chiana hears yelling in the kitchen and runs there to have a look at the commotion.
- Your side, my side, you stay on YOUR side! yells Stark at the top of his lungs.

Chiana looks in, making sure there's no flying pan. Stark is at the counter, flour staining his ragged coat sleeves up to his elbows, and there's some more up to his collar. Rygel is hovering at a distance, visibly upset. He looks at Chiana for support.
- The Banik is totally fahrbot, he groans. He think he can make something... edible.

He said the last word with total disgust.
- You're not that difficult to please, Rygel, says Chiana cheerfully. What are you making, Stark?

The Banik suddenly becomes very quiet.
- It's called a bread, he says solemnly. Crichton got this... book from his home planet and...
- What's in it? cuts in Chiana, looking at the counter.
- Oh, nothing much, says Stark. I need 3 of those cups of Self-Rising Flour, and 3 tablespronn... no... 3 tablespoon of sugar and a can of 12 ounces of beer.
- You can't do it, says Rygel triumphantly. Crichton drank all the beer.
Beer Bread

Stark has a diabolical smile on his face as he produces a can of beer.
- One left.
- You stole it, says Rygel, trying to sound offended.

Stark is taken aback. He puts the can close to his chest, to protect it.
- There's no name on it, he says, eyeing Rygel with suspicion. You had your share.
- We all have, says Chiana. It was divided between all of us.
- I don't drink... beer, says Stark, turning his back on them.

He measures 3 cups of Self-Rising Flour and puts them in a big bowl, then carefully measures 3 tablespoons of Sugar, adding them one at the time, stops to pray, and amidst the snickering of the Hynerian, opens slowly the can of beer, and pours the content in the bowl.

- Do you want me to grease the loaf pan for you? asks Chiana, gently.
- NO! says Stark so quickly, he almost drops the wooden spoon, then he lowers his head and says, "Yes, please", before mixing the ingredients until he gets a nice, smooth batter consistency.
- I put the oven at 350 F. says Rygel, sheepishly. Is that what you wanted, Stark?
- Why ask? teases Chiana. That's on the recipe. You can see it as well as me.
- Probably better than him, whispers Rygel.
- You should have done it long ago, says Chiana. We'll have to wait until the oven warms up.
- I've done it as I came in, says Rygel, with a crooked smile.
- So you knew all along what that was about! exclaims Stark, furious.
- You put the book on the counter, says Rygel, hovering farther from the Banik.

Chiana takes the loaf pan from Stark's hands and delivers it to the oven. Stark is so crossed with Rygel, he doesn't even notice. Chiana looks at the open book on the counter.
- Bake for an hour or until the top is golden brown, she reads out loud. How long is an hour?
- Too long, says Rygel, hovering to the door.
- I'll stand watch so it doesn't burn, says Stark.
- Or get stolen, says Chiana, laughing as Rygel exits the room like he hasn't heard.

Recipe submitted by Brienne Of Tarth
Story made by Bluey


Crais' Ruby Slipper Cake

- What are you doing? says Crais. Power down your engines at once!
Crais looks at the console then lowers his voice.
- That's right, Talyn. Reroute the surplus energy to the oven, initialise cooking at 350 F.
Talyn makes the internal lights flickers.
- Good, says Crais, turning to the makeshift table. Now, Talyn, retrieve file 790 cromas 4 and let me read the ingredients. Good...

  • 1 pkg. Yellow Cake Mix,
  • 1 cup Sour Cream,
  • 1/4 cup Water,
  • 2 Eggs,
  • 1 pkg. of 3 oz. Raspberry Flavored Gelatin.
Crais looks around and smiles.
- I have it all.
Talun makes a low pitched "beeping" noise in response to Crais.
- I will now combine cake mix, sour cream, water and eggs in large bowl and blend. Talyn, put the chronomas on for the equivalent of 2 Erp minutes and power on the mixer at medium speed. I need to beat the ingredients until creamy.

After two minutes, Talyn turns something on and a static noise is suddenly heard.
- Yes, Talyn, says Crais, visibly upset. I have greased and floured the Bundt pan. I will now spoon a third of the batter into the pan and sprinkle half the gelatin on it.
The static noise has kept on with a different pitch, and it's bothering Crais, who looks up.
- I know that, Talyn! he exclaims. I have to repeat layers and run a spoon around the middle of the batter to make a hollow for the gelatin, because I don't want it to touch the sides of the pan. Now show me the recipe again.
Crais closes his eyes, reading the recipe from Talyn's message link.
- Yes, mumbles Crais, to spread the remaining batter over gelatin to cover. I remembered that part. Then what? Yes, Talyn, bake at 350 for 45 to 50 Erp minutes until cake springs back when lightly pressed.

Once the pan is in the oven, Crais looks up to Talyn.
- Put back the chronomas for the cooking time and call me when ready. And remind me to cool in pan 5 to 10 Erp minutes before inverting.
The lights dim perceptibly, as Crais goes to the door, wiping his hands on a cloth bearing the PK's logo. He suddenly stops and looks up, frowning.
- No, Talyn, he says with controlled anger. NO! There will be no frosting! That cake doesn't need frosting.
Crais listens in, and smiles.
- Alright then, I will put something on... What about a sprinkle of "powered" sugar, after it cools completely?
Talyn bips.
- Yes, sighs Crais, still smiling. Powered sugar will please Aeryn too.

Story by Bluey
Recipe by Brienne Of Tarth


Oatmeal Shortbreads

Are you sure you know what you're doing? asks Scorpius, watching every move Noranti makes.
- Grolak flour, that's regular flour for me, says the old woman. Your recipe called for regular flour, doesn't it?
- Yes, it does, sighs Scorpius, between clenched teeth. Move, woman. It has to be done before she comes back.
- A birthday calls for sweetness, why those? They're not that sweet. Crunchy, yes, and taste similar to a wheat cracker, but...
- Yes, of course, says Noranti ever so calmly. You said 1 1/2 cups flour. I have it, then what?
- 2/3 cup Brown Sugar, firmly packed.
- I have that here, says Noranti, taking a filthy bag from under the counter.

She blows on it and waits until the dust has settled before measuring the brown sugar.
- Then, yes, I remember, she says, 2/3 cup Quick Oats and one cup of Butter.
- You don't have butter, growls Scorpius under his breath.
- I do, says Noranti, smiling like he had said the sweetest thing to her.

The old woman puts all the ingredients in a bowl, under the strict supervision of Scorpius, then pulls up her sleeves.
- NO, senile woman, barks Scorpius, pushing her aside. You're not putting your hands in that bowl.
- It's either mine... or yours, snickers Noranti.
- And what is this? asks Scorpius, showing a pastry blender in front of Noranti's face. If you weren't so full of germs, I would let you rub the ingredients together, but washing you up would take too long. Here, take this... instrument, and cut the ingredients until well blended and crumbly. I'll grease the pan.
- What size are you taking?
- 9 x 13 " as stated in Crichton's recipe.

Oatmeal Shortbreads
While Scorpius is not watching, Noranti lightly flour her fingertips to prevent sticking, then takes the bowl, and moves to the greased pan. She puts the crumbly dough in the pan and presses firmly on it, making sure the top is even.
- Is the oven ready? she asks, and not waiting for an answer, she goes to it, checks to see if the oven has truyly been set for 300 F. and puts the pan in.
- Forty five minutes, that translates into...
- Until the top is a deep golden colour, Noranti says, that's all the translation I need.
- Will it be ready in time?
- Wait with me, she says, smiling. I'll even give you the knife to cut them into bars while still in the pan.
- Then what?
- You leave the bars in the pan until they're cool, then you bring them to Sikozu.

Scorpius stares at her, and under his breath, whispers:
- It's Aeryn's Sun birthday. You'll say those are from John Crichton, or you'll never cook anything ever again.

Recipe submitted by Brienne Of Tarth
Story made by Bluey


Pilot's Sumi Salad

Chiana enters Pilot's den and looks around, curiously.

- I thought Stark was in here, she says, going to Pilot. We need him in the lower tiers.
- You could have commed me, says Pilot, looking very distracted. I sent him back 50 microts ago.
- Why did you need him? asks Chiana, leaning on Pilot's console.

A DRD on the console beeps to her. She laughs.
- I needed another... spoon, says Pilot, seemingly very busy.
- For what? asks Chiana, looking down inside Pilot's enclave. WoW! What's that stuff?
- Well, Chiana, answers Pilot, I have:

  • 2 pkgs Shredded Cappage, one pound each,
  • 6 Green Onions, chopped,
  • 1 pkg of Sunflower Seed Kernels
  • 2 pkgs Ramen Noodles, crushed and raw.
Pilot's Sumi Salad

Chiana jumps on the console.
- You're... cooking, Pilot? Why? You can't eat!
- The need for sustenance is irrelevant, answers Pilot, showing two big wooden spoons. The experience of preparing food for the others is... fulfilling enough.
- That's a salad, isn't it?
- Hmmm... yes. It's called a Sumi Salad. Let me combine these a while longer, there, help me put that aside. I'll make the dressing now.
- Can I help? asks Chiana, kneeling in front of Pilot.
- I've already put one cup of Vegetable Oil in the bowl, could you measure for me...

  • 6 T. Vinegar,
  • 2 t. Accent (MSG),
  • 4 T. Sugar,
  • and one t. Pepper.

- Easy, says Chiana, taking the measuring spoons from the console.
She puts the ingredients in the bowl, as she measures them, then Pilot mixes the dressing thoroughly.
- It's done, says Pilot, smiling.
A few DRDs come in pushing a crate in front of them.
- What's that? asjs Chiana, jumping down from the console.
- Table and chairs, says Pilot. Now I will call the crew for mealtime, and serve them myself. Just before serving, I will pour the dressing over the salad ingredients and toss gently to mix well. All is done according to the directives.
- You make a great cook, Pilot, says Chiana cheerfully.
- I have a very good assistant, says Pilot, looking fondly at her.

Note: the Accent is optional.

Recipe submitted by Brienne Of Tarth
Story made by Bluey


Spoon Rolls

John is strolling down the darkened corridor. It's night time on Moya, with dim lights and the soft whispers of the... John stops and listens. Those clings and clangs in the distance are strange; they need to be investigated. He follows the sounds, touching his thigh on the way to reassure himself Winona will not fail him if need be.

The metallic sounds are louder, coming from the kitchen. There's a light inside. John gets Winona out of its holster and points it ahead as he opens the big door.

- Drop it! he shouts.

Chiana turns, to him, a big bowl in hand.

- I don't think so, she replies playfully.
- What are you doing? he asks, suspicious of all those pots and pans and open bags on the counter.
- Cooking Erp things, Chiana answers proudly, banging the bowl on the counter to make her point.
- At this hour?

- No, you call this "flour", she says, pointing to the open bag next to her.
- What are you making, Pip? asks John as Winona returns to her holster.

- Spoo rolls, Chiana answers. I got the recipe from Pilot. He says he got it from you. I got everything here, one package of yack...
- Yeast, it's called yeast.
- Yeah, one package of yeast, 2 cups warm water, 4 cups of self... Rising... Flour, 1/4 cup of Sugar, 1 Egg, and 1/4 cup Butter Flavored shortened...
- Shortening, says John. What kind of egg?

Spoon Rolls

Chiana giggles as she dissolves the yeast into the warm water. Then John looks on as she beats the egg with the sugar and shortening and mixes well. John helps Chiana measure the flour and gets grayer than her, then he add the flour in her bowl before she spills more, and Chiana adds the yeast. Then they both take turn stirring until it's well blended.

- Do you want'em now? asks Chiana, defiantly. I could store that in the ref..rig..herator for up to seven standard days.
- I won't wait a week for spoon rolls, says John, wiping off a white streak of flour from her cheek.
- It doesn't have to walk...
- I think Pilot said it doesn't have to "rise" before baking.
- The same. Put the oven on 400 Frelling something.
- Already did.

John gets the muffin pan and greases it, and does another one while Chiana puts large spoonful of dough in the first one.

- How many should we have? asks John.
- Pilot said 12 to 18 rolls, depending on how large you make them. We have to wait for...
- 20 minutes, says John, if I recall what I had to wait when my mom made those.
- How long is that? asks Chiana.
- Long enough to clear off this mess.

The first muffin pan hadn't cooled off before they heard the distinctive hum of the throne sled.

Recipe submitted by Brienne Of Tarth
Story made by Bluey


"That Old Black Magic" Cake

I had forgotten about this recipe, the real name of it is "Black Magic Cake", but I made it for a friend of mine when I was turning him on to Farscape and called it : "That Old Black Magic" Cake.

  • 1 cup butter, cut up
  • 3/4 cup chocolate syrup
  • 8 Milky Way candy bars (chocolate-covered caramel and nougat bars, 2,05 ounces each), cut up.
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • 1 tsp. vanilla
  • 4 large eggs, lightly beaten
  • 2 1/2 cups all-pupose flour
  • 3/4 cup cocoa
  • 3/4 tsp. salt
  • 1/2 tsp. baking soda
That Old Black Magic Cake

Preheat oven to 325 ?. Grease and flour a 12-cup Bundt pan. In a 4-quart microwave-safe bowl, combine butter, syrup and candy bars. Heat 5 ro 5 1/2 minutes on medium (50% power), whisking once halfway through heating. Whisk until smooth. Whisk in sugar, then buttermilk, vanilla and eggs. Stir in flour, cocoa, salt and baking soda. Pour batter into pan. Bake 1 hour and 30 to 40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out almost clean. Cool in pan on wire rack for 10 minutes. Loosen cake from pan; invert onto rack to cool. Needs only powered sugar on top.

It is unbelievably rich, but soooooo goooood.

Submitted by Brienne Of Tarth


"The core of my soul", Dark Delvian Cookies

First Prayer:

By the wisdom of the Goddess
I lay the knowledge upon thee
of a ritual bearing such sweetness
that's called on Erp a "recipe".

Light two candles on your work table and preheat the oven at 350F. Recite a Wanta Chant to help you through this ritual, then gather the ingredients:

  • 2 Cups of rolled oats
  • 3 Cups of All purpose flour, sifted
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 Cup of regular sesame seeds
  • 1/8 tsp salt
  • 1/2 Cup carob powder
  • 3/4 Cup cooking oil
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/2 Cup white sugar (brown sugar would do just fine)
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/2 Cup Sultana (or Monarch) raisins
Dark Delvian Cookies

Put the rolled oats in a big bowl and add 2 1/2 cups of hot (not boiling) water. Mix gently then let the oats absorb water.

In another bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, sesame seeds and salt. Mix well.

In another large bowl (which should be large enough to hold all the ingredients at once), combine the carob powder, oil, vanilla extract, and sugar. Mix thoroughly. Blend in the egg, then add raisins. Mix until smooth. Don't frell about the colour... it's supposed to look that way.

Take Hynerians hands out of the rolled oats, then add this mixture to the dark smooth one. Take a wooded spoon, and blend until perfect Unity of all the ingredients.

Add the flour mix, a third at the time, and stir well until all the whiteness of the flour is absorbed in the Dark Core of the mix.

Using a tablespoon, form dough into separate cookies unto a greased cookie sheet (or a bare Teflon one). With a short prayer, press flat evenly with the palm of hand. If too sticky, spread palm of hand with flour -- this way, you won't get dough under your rings.

Meditate until the oven is ready, Bake the first cookie sheet for 12 minutes -- Erp time. 10 minutes for the second one.

Take the cookies off the baking sheet with a spatula and lay them unto a cooling rack -- so they won't retain moisture. Wait until completely cold before putting them in a cookie jar. Hide this jar carefully, and add a spell to protect your cookies from Nebari and Hynerian thieves.

Thank the Goddess for the successful outcome of your Erp ritual and enjoy -- share -- your cookies.

Yields : about 4 dozens.

Recipe and Story Submitted by Bluey

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